I gathered up all the children, loading them into the van because we could no longer postpone a grocery trip. As I was leaving, my husband asked if I could stop by the bank on the way home. When I agreed, he handed me an endorsed check to deposit. With a kiss goodbye, I dashed out the door, putting the check in my back jean pocket (my husband’s pet peeve). Between excitable children and crowded aisles, I became a woman on a mission to get our groceries in record time. As I was checking out, I decided to move the check from my jeans to my wallet, but reaching back I discovered my pockets were empty!
I raced back to the car, securing the children in the seat belts so that I could search every nook and cranny. No luck finding the check. I combed through my wallet and my pockets again if hopes I had missed it earlier, but came up empty handed. Finally, I took a deep breath, called my husband and meekly asked him if I had left it at home. I had not. Unbuckling the children, we all unloaded from the car and together combed through the store looking for a lost endorsed check. We never found it, and no one had turned it in.
I left the store in tears.
The fact that my careless mistake cost our family money was bothering me, but I was more embarrassed that I lost the check after putting it in my back pocket — something my husband is always encouraging me not to do. I doubted Jason would ever trust me with a check again! Preparing myself for the conversation we were about to have, I began role playing in my mind. I could already hear Jason telling me in his “paternal tone” why we have systems of putting money in our wallets and not our pockets.
One of the reasons I expected this lecture is because whenever Jason makes a mistake without heeding my advice, you better believe I find some way to point out that he should have listened to me. I excel at playing the I’m-right-you’re-wrong card, but I never appreciate when Jason plays the card on me. I needed to brace myself so I would receive it well because, after all, I did deserve it.
My husband came out to greet me as I pulled into the garage. When he saw my tears, he tenderly he gave me a hug and kiss saying, “Baby, it isn’t a big deal.” As soon as I walked inside, he said with excitement, “Look, I washed the floors for you!” Cleaning the floors is always on my to-do list yet is my very least favorite chore.
He not only forgave me but blessed me!
At that moment, I experienced grace lived out. Romans 5:8 defines grace beautifully, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” While my husband is not God, he does demonstrate a Christ-like love. I didn’t receive a correction, or an “I told you so” — even though that’s what I deserved. I didn’t come home to a man frustrated or disappointed – even though he had every right to be. There were no sharp words or cutting tones. When I made a mistake, my husband died to himself. And as he held me, letting me cry on his shoulder, I thought about Christ dying for my sins.
Jason’s beautiful demonstration challenges me to be more grace-filled towards him and my children. He created a safe environment for me to say, “I messed up.” He forgave and moved on while verbalizing and demonstrating his love and commitment. Jesus does that on a daily basis for each one of us. I need to tap into his divine love so that a similar attitude will be a natural overflow into my earthly relationships.
I want to become a grace-filled wife!
I want to be a wife whose husband has no fear or hesitation confessing anything from big sins to small mistakes. To be that woman, I must make some changes so that I no longer hold grudges, bring up the past, or belittle him. I want to greet his victories and defeats with grace! The same grace Christ so willingly offers me on an hourly basis.
Being stingy with grace hurts our marriage and my relationship with Christ.
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